Story Time: The Homicidal Ice Cream Man and some Magical Fried Chicken.

There are great things being done for humanity's sake when it comes to food: disaster relief, meals on wheels, farmer's markets and organic foods, can food drives, soup kitchens, etc.

and then there are things being done with food that totally boggle your mind, make you wanna commit hari hiri, slit your throat and shoot yourself in the head at the same time.
things like this.

Now, if you're as lazy as I am, let's summarize this:

Man wants to be an ice cream guy, decides to buy an ice cream truck. He gets it, decides he doesn't want to be an ice cream man, and is ticked off when they can't refund his 18,000 payment on the truck. He drove across the country and killed an emplyoee of the company.

Then, he agrees to plea guilty for a bucket of KFC.
...

ok, not KFC, but also Popeyes and a bunch of sides, as well. mashed potatoes, carrot pie, cole slaw. Lord have mercy!

the judge agreed to the request because it would save time and money, and besides, you've got to get something back in turn for being punished for a crime that you committed anyways. Not that anyone mentioned a lightened sentence to him, but he has a chance to be paroled.... in 30 years.

So, what's the morale of the story?

Jail food SUCKS. Fried Chicken is GOOD. And don't be an ice cream man unless you REALLY, REALLY wanna do it.


Side note: Colonel Saunders was buried in the iconic white suit and bowtie.

KFC is not just to Kill for, or plead guilty for, but it's also to die for.

Breakfast foods, chicken and your mother.

Let's kick off your day with a youtube video of a mcdonalds breakfast commercial.


I read in interesting article in Time magazine(http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1818200,00.html) the other day, about how this writer named Joel stein has an issue with Mcdonalds new southern style chicken biscuit being served on the breakfast menu. I actually don't mind the fact that chicken for breakfast is a new and exiting chapter in american breakfast cuisine (and the race towards a national obesity/depression/arthritis/diabetes/asthma/heart disease/acidreflux/gallstone/liver chirrosis increase in the incoming years), I was kinda interested in how american breakfast foods came to be in the first place. Joel seems to have done some research on the topic and brought up some interesting facts or points i'd like to share with you (obviously, a well-educated and loyal reader of this blog) from the article.

-"America inherited the big Victorian British-Irish breakfast of bread, eggs and pork (probably because it could be cured and stored)".

I think this is a very valid statement. If you think about it, the victorian-american age coincided and was inherited by the introduction of european immigrants in the 1880's to the early 1900's to the united states. at the time the United states had the resources to provide great amounts of dairy, eggs, grains and so forth. with the tastes of irish and english immigrants attuned to such fare, it became popular and we've inehrited it to this day.

Immigrants have had a monumental role in contributing to american cuisine. take, for example, corned beef hash.
Typical irish fare in... well... ireland, is potatoes and meat. preserved meat, to be exact. corned beef was considered by irish americans as a suitable and cheap substitute for bacon in the poor irish quarter of NYC's lower east side, and it caught on. Corned beef could be prepared from leftovers at dinner, and combined with potatoes was made a popular breakfast food back in the day, and now is a popular choice to eat in southern states.


- "Cereals were added at the turn of the century thanks to the Kellogg brothers."

The industrial revolution and the advent of machinery and industrial mass production allowed the Kellogg Brothers to release their first brand-name cereal, cornflakes, in 1906. This method of mass production, which included baking and extruding mashed grains, proved to be very profitable as these cereals could be transported and kept for long periods of time, were relatively nutritious and provided the luxury of not having to cook for a meal. ergo, it became a prominent breakfast food out of nutritional value and convenience. (nutritional value nowadays is subjective when we talk about cereals, but i digress.)

Also, did you know the kellogg brothers were seventh day adventists, and fed cornflakes, along with other bland foods thought to decrease sexual passions, to patients at their health sanitorium? Cool.


-"Doughnuts sneaked in after they were paired with coffee as an afternoon treat for World War I soldiers."

wow. those sneaky doughnuts.


-"In the South, buttery biscuits have long been served with gravy or rich, salty ham."

This tradition has continued unabated for years. it might be a contributing factor to the American South's reputation for having great food, and where the rates for obesity/depression/arthritis/diabetes/asthma/heart disease/acidreflux/gallstone/liver chirrosis continues to lead the nation.


something to chew on, i guess, as you eat your breakfast, is to consider where what you eat came from. you might just be suprised at how "american" your meal is. theres a lot of history.

PS: i meant to talk about your mother, but it didn't seem appropriate. hey, at least you read the article. (even if you were looking for a momma comment.)

First time cooking therapy, session 1

Once I left the comforts of dorm-food, of my parents and their cooking, I was totally lost.

You don't know what to eat. You want to eat, but you're not sure as to what because there are choices. many of them.
You're sure you could cook, you'd like to have that ability. But how to cook, what to cook, and how to manage it all in accordance with your budget?

My thoughts when grocery shopping with my brother:

"Balls."

"Awww Bob Saget!!"

"Ummm.... "


and of course "i dunno, whatever"

When we're on our own, i've found that people usually do the following:
-Eat out
-Make sandwiches
-Eat breakfast foods. (cereal, toast, bacon, etc.) for multiple meals in a day

For the most part, this is a guy thing. adolesccents and young adults don't have much kitchen/cooking experience in comparison to girls, due to the sentiment that they won't have to worry about it until it's absolutely imperative to. therefore, looking up silly videos on youtube or watching adult content on the internet takes priority over those kinds of concerns, especially in high school. Girls on the other hand (the ones not looking at porn) feel some social pressure to cook, either from the fact that the great majority of parents that cook are female, or because they've got less of an incentive to do athletics or other activities that guys have greater leeway in aprticipating in. Times are changing though, and girls are doing plenty of things not involved with cooking.

Sexist statement? hell yeah. but it's a valid one when you talk about the great body of adults living on their own for the first time.

So... here are a couple of things i did to figure out and organize this perdicament.

1. make a list of what kinds of thing you like to eat:
chicken, beef, pork, potatoes, beans, hot dogs, burgers, spinach, noodles, etc.

they can be dishes, categories of food, but if you ahvea general idea, that's fine.

2. look up dishes or recipes

thanks to the internet, recipes can be found for virtually any kind of dish you want to cook, from the basic to the elaborate stuff they serve at 5star restaurants.
If you see something you like on top chef or iron chef, the cooking channel, any source, just add it to your list.

3. once you figure out what you like, figure out what you're going to eat on a weeky or biweekly basis. Time constraints, context for cooking, etc. should be figured out. you can come up with a shopping list based on those recipes once you balance out what meals you're going to cook for and how many of them there are.

4. go shop. once you know what to get, it makes shopping easier.

after a few times, you have a better understanding of what to buy and how to budget.

this is my experience, but i'm sure it could be useful for anyone starting out on their own.

better than living off of the dollar menu at fast food restaurants.

Southern Style Sweet Tea. Hellz Yeah.

If the South had won the Civil War, the most popular beverage would be, without a doubt, Whiskey and Beer.

(and then, Sweet Tea.)

Getting past the horrible introduction and hook (you're still reading! Ha!),

I'd like to discuss one of my favorite drinks of all time. It's a classic drink that never gets old, especially in the southern states where the word "tea" means this classic brew.

Sweet Tea is conventionally brewed from black tea (orange pekoe is pretty good) and sugar is mixed in while the tea is boiling/steeping.




Tea got it's start in America when the french imported the leaves as a trade good in the 18th century, and eventually it was cultivated and domesticated, especially in the south. With european colonization brining goods and tastes to the United states in that period, Coffee and Tea made it's way into the palates of Colonials, and especially in the Southern states controlled by the British, the tradition of tea was imparted, along with plantation-estates, womens fashion styles and a code of conduct for gentlemen in the south. The notion of "Southern Hospitality", so it's said, was a byproduct of this time period.


As my constant companion Wiki Pedia tells me, the first documented iced sweet tea recipe was published in a cookbook in 1879 by Marion Tyree, with green tea as the tea. "In fact, most sweet tea consumed during this period was green tea. However, during World War II, the major sources of green tea were cut off from the United States, leaving them with tea almost exclusively from British-controlled India which produces black tea. Americans came out of the war drinking preponderantly black tea."

I love Wiki. always so knowledgeable about all things not political.



Sweet Tea is regarded as a popular alternative to water, often being served in a pitcher in family-style restaurants, and even being served in glasses, given free refills. Quality and quanitity in production is what makes it such a widespread beverage to be sold in bulk, and is bottled by lipton, nestea and individual companies like Gold Peak. McDonalds, looking to change up their complexion, has added 1$ southern-style sweet tea to it's menu along with the southern style chicken sandwiches (also quite good) as of 2007-8.

It can be homemade as well, with many variations and recipes, but all involve the same amount of tea, with differences being the amount of sugar added.

At any rate, i've been brewing this stuff for the last month or so and can't get enough of it: tea bags and sugar are the only things you need to buy, and it's much more satisfying if you have the time to brew it. Here's my Tea Recipe


Ewok-style Sweet Tea
3 tagless family bags/8-10 individual bags of black tea (Luzianne or Lipton)
1.50 cups of Sugar
A pinch of baking soda (to cut the bitter flavor and darken the color of the tea, optional)
4 cups of water

1. Boil 4 cups of water, mixing in the sugar once the water comes to a boil.

2. Once the sugar-water is boiling heavily once again, place the tea bags and baking powder in the water, and immediately turn off the heat.

3. Take the pan off of the heater, cover it and let the tea steep for one hour.

4. Remove tea bags and press to get excess liquid and pour into gallon jug.

5. Fill jug/pitcher with cold water and refrigerate/serve with ice.

So. Good. This is the one thing to have for this summer, as the weather gets warm and humid, this is the drink to have.

instant food: the high point of our society's "i want it now" lifestyle.

You know it's true. common knowledge. if you didn't realize this you might have been living in the basement your entire natural life. People desire instant gratification. Cars that accelerate faster are desired(duh!), computers must process their binary at mind-boggling speeds or else they're obsolete. and if you haven't seen a comcast commercial then you could be societally ignorant and/or you've never been to this fabulous grease-capital-of-the-world called the United States of America.

We always make fun of how horrible the typical American's diet is, yet we stuff our face with the likes of fast food, junk food, sugar and sodapop. in the case of college students we see this weight gain and resolve to cut down our body mass fast while seeming to look stylish/edgy/hip by imbibing insane doses of coffee and caffeinated energy drinks.

If you actually can say with a clear conscience that you do not do ANY of the following, then you might be an herbivorous rabbit.

This demand for instant gratification is summarized in Proverbs 19:22a:

"What a man desires is unfailing love"

Man, meet instant food products. this nugget of wisdom in the bible points out Mankind's natural tendency of self gratification, to be consistently fulfilled by indulging our desires. (asquicklyaspossibleok?)

Technology and manufacturing methods have been developed with efficiency (and profit) in mind, and now food products can be (and are) packaged with consistency of flavor, texture, longevity and widespread availability for consumers. It's like Tom Cruise says in Jerry Maguire: "You.... Complete Me."

If you can take the time, just think about it. We're wired to want something that will never fail us, that won't talk back, that won't ever leave us, no matter how bad we are.

You might be thinking that God would be a perfect fit for that(or at least that's what I was thinking). but outside of God, the perfect spouse and fatherly/motherly love, the closest things we have are....


Instant Noodles. (Nong Shim, Korean #1 noodle!)Easy mac., etc. etc.
Just add water for deep fried and dry frozen noodles high in carbohydrates, MSG, trans fat and cholesterol and nothing else. But they’re dirt cheap and it’s better than dying… quickly.


Microwaveable precooked food.
Hot Pockets, pizza rolls. microwave dinners. WHITE CASTLE BURGERS (Hellz yeah.) think about fast food. On demand. Conveniently delicious.


Chips and "Junk" Food: Pork Rinds and potato chips, among other things, are consistently greasy, high in carbohydrates, sodium and trans fat.

I mean, come on, be honest. Life would suck without quick food. We’d have to cook stuff ourselves, maybe be dependent on cooking vegetables and meat instead of sprinkling them from a freeze dry packet. It’d take time. I mean, who has that kind of time nowadays? We have so many other things to do. Like, facebook. Blogging. Watching prime time television. Stalking 14 year olds on Myspace. Looking up rugby tackles and sports highlights on youtube.

Yup. Today, Cooking is something we get paid for, it’s a job rather than a routine. Sadly enough.

BTW, definitely didn’t mean to imply anything specific about 14 YO’s and stalking on myspace. No sir.

Dish of the month: Rocky Mountain Oysters

this weekend, i had my first tastte of liver, which is beef liver pan fried and sauteed with onions. there is no doubt that it tasted kinda good, especially considering i wasn't expecting much. intrigued, my roommate told me about Rocky mountain oysters.

here's a picture of where the delicacy comes from:


So it's a bull. cool.


now here's a picture of what part it specifically comes from.



and here's how they look, sliced, breaded in flour, salt and pepper and deep fried:


They're rocky mountain oysters because uncooked bulls testicles have the consistency and look of raw oyster, and a large cattle industry is present in the rocky mountains. as the need to pacify aggressive behavior of bulls became relevant in cattle ranching, the testes were removed, and consequently it was added to the cuisine in the west as an intriguing appetizer.


They are not just bull testes, rocky mountain oysters are also from bear or buffalo.

and to top off this wonderful dish, it's also been popularized in different forms in other countries: in jakarta, they are sometimes part of the satay. the rest of the world sometimes calls the dish "sweet meats"

and you thought sweetmeats was candy.

Balls.

The Korean History Channel

As a rebuttal to those that thought I was being racist when i related kimchee to korean people, I would like to apologize by sharing this clip with you.

DISCLAIMER:
the only true part of this clip is that "BuGolGi isSo guuood"
And I don't endorse anything about eatting doggie or japanese dinosaurs, anything like that.

If you wanna eat, call me, we'll have Rich JC sometime!

The Food Slideshow sideshow!

I recently got an e-mail from someone that claimed to actually have read this blog.
This suprised me on muliple levels:

1. this person actually stumbled onto my blog, and

2. this person was willing to read my posts!

now if that's not weird, then i don't know what is.

but anyways, he put me onto slideshows that can actually be imbedded into html format, which is pretty dope in my book.

These slides are top quality and in the food category, it has the capacity to introduce you to many different types of food in a food group, so enjoy! Props to Anuj for the info.



Eat something fresh today, most veggies and fruits have the nutrients to help you metabolize your food, promote health and proper functioning of your body. In general, they maximize the energy you get from carbs and proteins.

Eating Culture: National Dishes and regional specialties

sorry. it's been a while. i'm not sure if anyone has read this thing in about a semester, i haven't updated too recently.

But yeah, back to food.

The national food item is actually one of the most intriguing things to eat, one that is tied strongly to a cultural identity. There aren't too many dishes that a culture and society is intricately tied to in this world. Hot Dogs are synonymous with Americans and the identity of wiener lovers (hurf hurf hurf!) in North America. Fish and Chips is an English tradition (just like binge drinking and driving on the wrong side of the road), and Haggis is a Scot thing (as are kilts and Mel Gibson/William Wallace)

It's that special combination of Nationality and Food that really brings out the best in one's genuine cultural experience through food. When you eat something like that, you can literally taste tradition and get a better understanding for the cultural values of the dish.

For example, Kimchee.

Note and Disclaimer: The following may sound racist and ironically very ignorant of culture, but it's meant to playfully call out general trends in attitude. If you're Korean and are offended, don't worry about it. You see, all the korean people I know are always offended by something anyways and that motivates them to be the best human beings possible, so I'm glad that i get to be a part of the fun.

I'm sure you've run into (South) Korean people before. the hardcore ones. they're very feisty, full of spice, and can often turn you off because they're immensely intense and leave a distinctive love-hate response.

Like any South Korean Drama, soap opera or movie, there's always immense physical humor involved, lots of violent immediacy and "playful" abuse, full of drama and lots of hate, which ultimately is defeated by a bittersweet dramatic twist ending with a declaration of love or an immense epiphany and/or return home.

There are so many different kinds of Koreans, but at the heart of every one is the intense and sweet-sour-spicy attitude that will add a great dynamic to the whole. Can't live without it. If you have too much Korean in your life and you're not used to it, it'll probably give you an ulcer.

That pretty much summarizes Kimchee at it's essence.

And we're out of time, ill have to get to talking about food sometime. Balls.



This is Kimchee.










This is kimchee about to hit your tastebuds.
(It's an acquired taste.)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force

I had the option of watching braveheart or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I decided to watch aqua teen hunger force under the impression that i'd give a witty and insightful review of anthromorphic fast food having wild adventures.

after watching it, i've realized that I was dumber than before i watched. So... rather than talking about talking milkshakes and morphing meatballs, here's a funny clip from braveheart instead.



I'll get to talking about the social history of potatoes eventually. stay tuned.